How Do I Know If I Am Burned Out?

I think it's fair to say that if you're asking this question, you're either burned out already or very close to it.

There is a difference between being tired and burned out. There is a difference between feeling stressed out and being burned out. There's a difference between being just sick of it already and being burned out.

Burnout is being tired, stressed, and sick of it all at once, intensely - to the point you're making mistakes and straining relationships. According to burnout researcher Rachel Maslach, it is fatigue, inefficacy, and cynicism. Either you're still trying but failing in your job, or you're past trying. You're so tired that you are less able engage with family or friends or hobbies. You're so stressed that you can only think about work, but work is the last thing you want to think about. There's a feeling of hopelessness and negativity - a profound, "What's the point anymore?"

Trying to survive in non-profits, I've been burned out more than once. The last time I burned out, the reddest of red flags was that I nearly burned my house down. I put oil on the stove and turned the heat onto max, and then walked away as if I was just boiling water. I got distracted - not by anything in particular, just my own thoughts (this had been happening more often). Next thing I knew, I heard a "poof" and ran back to my kitchen to find the pan aflame. I got it out, but for a scary moment there, I really thought my kitchen was going to go up in flames.

In less than two weeks from this moment, I had consulted a doctor and started a leave. After a couple of weeks at home, I noticed that my brain was holding together better, as if floating components had come together and gelled. After a couple more weeks of rest and re-establishing wellness routines, I was ready to go back to work.

Woman resting with a book.

If you think you are burned out, taking a leave is just one option, and sometimes it's not the best one. For some people, the disconnection from work community makes things worse. So, I am not saying you "should" take a leave, but I am saying, "What if you took a leave?"

How does it feel in your body to contemplate that option?

This is a good place to start in considering a leave, and the wisdom of your body may be all you need. If not, here are some more questions. . .

What are your fears about resting? What are your fears if you don't? Do you think you deserve it?

Do you believe you are inherently deserving - of rest, of health and wellness, of being looked after by others for a minute? What would you be doing differently if you were led by a sense of self-worth?

Do you believe there is more to you than your productivity? What else is important to you, other than work? Can you make room for them?

What does one month, one year, or five years look like if you continue as you are now? What could be gained from stepping away?

If you think beyond the understandable fears of losing of income, what are other costs and benefits of a leave? How would you face the challenge of financial strain?

The next phase after burnout is an emergency: a stress-related illness, relationship crises, forced leaves, workplace conflict, job loss, burned bridges - and a long climb back to wellness. If you don't ask these big questions before the emergency arrives, you will be compelled to answer them as you recover.

So I invite you to take this moment to ask yourself - What would kindness toward myself look like right now?